In this blog post, we’ll examine the changing social norms and values surrounding love, marriage, family, and gender roles through the lens of the movie ‘Marriage Is Crazy’.
Rejection of Patriarchal Norms
Living in an ever-changing era, we are experiencing countless transformations. Among these, shifts in values are becoming increasingly prominent as they break away from traditional norms. In the past, people often accepted uniform values dictated by society’s unspoken rules rather than expressing their individuality. Today, however, as having one’s own distinct convictions and passions is highly valued, establishing personal values has become even more important. Nevertheless, values regarding gender roles, love and marriage, and sexual identity are often still influenced by outdated notions, with diversity not yet fully respected. The film ‘Marriage Is Crazy’ challenges the conventional wisdom we’re familiar with regarding traditional marriage, love, family, and roles, presenting a different set of values. The stereotypes the film seeks to challenge can be broadly categorized into three main areas.
First is the rejection of patriarchal norms. South Korea has long developed within a framework of patriarchal family relationships. However, the film overturns these patriarchal norms through the relationship between the male and female protagonists. Although the story unfolds from Jun-young’s (Kam Woo-sung) perspective, Yeon-hee (Um Jung-hwa) is actually at the center of the narrative. Jun-young is portrayed as a passive character who acts according to Yeon-hee’s choices, emphasizing that it is the woman—not the man—who takes the initiative in choosing a spouse. The man, who was the protagonist in conventional melodramas, becomes an object and a passive figure in this film, and the flow of the story is determined by the woman’s choices.
Nevertheless, even though the male-centered structure commonly seen in traditional films has been dismantled, Yeon-hee’s portrayal does not come across as unnatural or off-putting. On the contrary, Jun-young calmly accepts Yeon-hee’s ambivalent choices and does not even show much possessiveness toward the person he loves. Unlike male protagonists in conventional melodramas, he does not forcefully assert his emotions or try to possess his partner; instead, he maintains the relationship in accordance with Yeon-hee’s wishes.
This can be seen as an example of how men’s values regarding women are also changing today. On the other hand, unlike women of the older generation, Yeon-hee displays a very open attitude toward love and sexuality, yet makes a realistic and conservative choice when it comes to marriage. Her decision to prioritize practical considerations over love demonstrates an attitude that values economic stability. Of course, it is difficult to view this choice as a complete break from dependence on men. However, on the other hand, she treats the institution of marriage not as an absolute value but as one of several practical choices, while recognizing love as a separate issue. Through Yeon-hee’s pursuit of free love and Jun-young’s acceptance of such a relationship, we can see that society is gradually shifting away from traditional patriarchal norms.
Rejection of Traditional Feminine Ideals and Familism
Yeon-hee, who has sex with Jun-young without hesitation on the day they first meet and continues to lead a double life without guilt even after marriage—declaring, “I’m confident I won’t get caught!”—is portrayed as highly confident and autonomous, even when compared to female characters in various contemporary films and visual media. While women were often portrayed in the past as submissive to men, this film uses Yeon-hee to demonstrate that women, too, are capable of actively choosing and expressing their own sexuality and desires. This is clearly evident in scenes where she demands the kind of sexual relationship she wants with Jun-young, as well as in her ability to naturally answer her husband’s calls while spending time with Jun-young and smoothly navigate the situation.
In South Korean society, the topic of sexual freedom has long been a sensitive one. While the film addresses this issue relatively directly, it does not portray Yeon-hee as a mere target of condemnation. Unlike some past works that depicted a married woman’s affair ultimately leading to ruin, ‘Marriage Is a Crazy Thing’ does not unconditionally condemn Yeon-hee’s choices. Rather, it prompts the audience to reflect on whether they can understand her decisions. The director neither unilaterally defends nor condemns Yeon-hee’s actions; instead, by portraying a human being torn between social norms and personal desires, he leaves the judgment to the audience.
Furthermore, in Jun-young’s character, we can see an attitude that rejects traditional familism in the pursuit of sexual freedom. While Jun-young displays an active and free-spirited attitude toward dating, he holds a negative view of the institution of marriage itself. He does not view marriage as an inevitable stage of life, nor does he place importance on a woman’s chastity as traditional men do. He himself holds relatively liberal views on sexual relationships, and because of these values, he does not seem particularly eager to start a family. This can be seen as a manifestation of his opposition to the social norm—which dictates that men of marriageable age must marry and raise a family—and to traditional familism.
A Film That Rejects Conventional Notions of Marriage
Finally, this film rejects conventional notions of marriage itself. The meaning and role of marriage have continued to evolve over time and across societies. In the past, practical needs—such as economic stability, securing social status, and having and raising children—were the primary purposes of marriage. Of course, even today, economic stability remains one of the key factors in the decision to marry, but the focus is shifting toward considering a variety of values, such as affection for a spouse, mutual respect, emotional fulfillment, and personal growth. Nevertheless, the idea of forming a family and building a bond with one another remains a crucial element of marriage regardless of the era.
However, starting with its very title, the film directly challenges the institution of marriage that society takes for granted. The marriage portrayed in the film is less the fulfillment of love or an ideal outcome and more of an institution chosen based on practical conditions and needs. In particular, Yeon-hee is depicted as a character who faithfully takes advantage of the economic stability offered by the institution of marriage while simultaneously maintaining her own love life separately. Through this, the film starkly reveals the reality that marriage has the nature of an economic exchange and takes a critical look at traditional views on marriage.
The Questions the Film Raises About Values
Unlike the conventional view—which, based on the notion that “if you love someone, you must marry them,” treats love and marriage as a single, continuous process—this film views love and marriage as issues on distinct planes. Ultimately, the film criticizes the dilemmas inherent in the institution of marriage and the one-size-fits-all view of marriage, while questioning the social climate that fails to acknowledge individuals’ diverse values. This critical perspective is most clearly revealed in the protagonists’ attitudes toward love and marriage.
For Yeon-hee, marriage is reality, while romance is idealism. The core of the film lies precisely in the conflict that arises between these two sets of values. The moment one chooses marriage, idealism gives way to reality; conversely, it is difficult to sustain real life on idealism alone. Jun-young constantly reminds Yeon-hee of this reality, arguing that choosing a marriage based on practical considerations is ultimately the only realistic decision. The fact that Yeon-hee continues her relationship with Jun-young even after her marriage is a behavior that remains difficult to accept even today. Consequently, this plot point feels quite groundbreaking even by today’s standards. However, rather than simply labeling this relationship as an affair or infidelity and morally condemning it, the film approaches the subject by asking the audience to understand the characters’ values and choices.
Furthermore, in the film’s conclusion, Yeon-hee returns to Jun-young’s side without fully conforming to traditional views on marriage. This ending is closer to an open ending that offers no definitive answer. The director refrains from judging the characters’ choices as right or wrong, leaving room for the audience to form their own conclusions.
This can be seen as a device that critiques universally accepted views on marriage while simultaneously highlighting the social reality that, in real life, love and marriage do not necessarily align.
Watching this film inevitably leads one to ask, “What exactly is love?” and “Is marriage really a crazy thing to do?” This is because it is a work that makes us rethink the traditional gender roles and notions of love and marriage that we have long taken for granted. In the past, it was difficult to come across works that addressed these issues, but today, through a variety of movies, TV dramas, and online video streaming (OTT) content, we can naturally encounter different value systems. As society changes, people’s values have also become more diverse, and this change is spreading slowly but steadily throughout society.
Some people may experience confusion about their values in this changing society and end up living according to others’ standards rather than the life they truly desire. If you live your life swept up by societal expectations or the values of those around you rather than your own thoughts, you may look back on your life with regret as time passes. That is why it is crucial to indirectly experience diverse values through various works of art, reflect on your own values without being bound by social conventions, and chart your own course in life.
You only live once. And you are the protagonist of your own life. If you make your own judgments, design your life, and forge your own path based on your own firm values, won’t there be more moments of satisfaction and meaning—rather than regret and disappointment—when you look back on your life many years from now?
