This blog post briefly examines why Indonesian women accept polygamy and the meaning behind that choice, using the film Berbagi Suami as a lens.
The film ‘Berbagi Suami’ is an omnibus film that depicts polygamy, permitted in Islam, through the stories of three characters. The film’s title means ‘Sharing a Husband’. In the film, Salma, a doctor; Siti, from a rural background; and Ming, who works as a waitress at a duck restaurant, are three Indonesian women experiencing polygamy in different circumstances.
In Indonesia, where the majority of the population is Muslim, polygamy is permitted and is explicitly stated in the marriage law. An interesting point in the film is that despite Salma wearing a hijab in a few scenes, it’s difficult to see the three women as typical Muslim women, yet all three accept Islam’s polygamy. Of course, this could simply be seen as a cinematic device to portray three women in different situations. However, given that polygamy is permitted under the banner of Islam, the circumstances of the three female protagonists—who do not seem to be enduring it solely for religious reasons—are intriguing.
Just as polygamy is not a common form of marriage in Islamic cultures, the film shows that not all polygamous arrangements stem solely from religious motives. In fact, according to Indonesian marriage law, a man must obtain the consent of his primary wife or other wives to take another wife. However, in the film, Salma is constantly confronted by wives of various ages she never knew existed. Siti, too, gives up her dreams to care for the children, only to fall in love with Dwi, her husband’s other wife, and run away with her. Ming also secretly marries without the first wife’s knowledge, using an apartment and a car as conditions. None of the three characters chose polygamy themselves, nor do they achieve a happy married life.
As the film depicts their unhappy marriages, from a Western perspective, this polygamy is seen as an unequal and unreasonable patriarchal tradition and culture for women. Viewing polygamy through the lens of gender issues, and from a feminist perspective advocating for women’s equal rights, the three women in the film ‘Berbagi Suami’ are clearly victims of an unreasonable polygamous system. The film reveals a male-centered patriarchal culture where multiple women share one man and endure hardship, while the man takes whichever woman he desires.
So why does Islam permit this unequal and unreasonable polygamy? Its origins lie in the need to protect and care for the numerous widows and orphans created during Islam’s period of warfare. Islamic polygamy did not originate from viewing women as male property, but rather from a concept akin to a ‘welfare system’ for women. This polygamy, born of such reasons, is now criticized as a remnant of primitive Eastern culture.
Had feminism existed in that era, would polygamy have been solely the target of such criticism? Interpreting polygamy as ‘culture’ rather than a gender issue could be a perspective that criticizes without respecting multicultural diversity. In modern society, deeply permeated by Western civilization as the mainstream, properly understanding and respecting multiculturalism remains challenging. The criteria for determining whether a culture should be respected as diversity under cultural relativism or criticized and eliminated remain unclear.
Viewed from a cultural rather than gender perspective, the film ‘Berbagi Suami’ does not merely address polygamy. Salma is an Indonesian woman with a professional career as a doctor, Siti falls in love with a woman, forbidden in Islam, and Ming is an ethnic Chinese Indonesian. Through these three women, the film unpacks polygamy while simultaneously reflecting diverse cultural codes and shifts within Indonesian society, weaving together narratives of gender and culture.
Currently, young Muslims in Indonesia are increasingly voicing opposition to polygamy. The younger generation, exposed to Western popular culture, finds it difficult to accept polygamy. However, supporting monogamy does not mean this generation has abandoned their religious beliefs in Islam. Recent surveys indicate that while Indonesia’s youth are negative toward polygamy, they still consider having a spouse of the same religion the most important condition for marriage. Even among those who responded that they could marry someone of a different religion, a significant number believe it would be better if the spouse converted.
Not only the younger generation, but also the increasing divorce rate among Indonesian women in their 40s and 50s experiencing polygamy is changing Indonesia’s marriage laws. In the film, Salma’s husband leaves a dying wish for his son: “Take only one wife.” Siti escapes polygamy to choose the person she loves, and Ming also resolves to pursue her desired path as an actress. Like the protagonists in the film, today’s Indonesian Muslims understand and choose polygamy according to their own values.
